I AM YOUR DISEASE

by NCCA member, Sr. Pat Underwood

chainsI hate meetings.  I hate higher power.  I hate anyone who has a program.  To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering.  Allow me to introduce myself.  I am the disease of addiction…alcoholism, other drugs, eating disorders, work holism, etc.

I am cunning, baffling and powerful!  That’s me!  I have killed millions and I am pleased.  I love to catch you with the element of surprise.  I love pretending that I am your friend and lover.  I have given you comfort, haven’t I?  Wasn’t I there when you were lonely?

When you wanted to die, didn’t you call me?  Wasn’t I always there?

I love when I make you so numb, you can neither hurt nor cry… You can’t feel anything at all.  That is true glory.  I give you instant gratification.  I have always been there for you.  When things were going right in your life, you invited me.  You said you didn’t deserve these good things, and I was the only one who would agree with you.  Together we were able to destroy all things good in your life and all I asked of you was long-term suffering.

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People don’t take me seriously.  They take strokes seriously, even diabetes.  Fools that they are, they don’t know that without my help, these things would not be made possible.  I am such a hated disease and yet I do not come uninvited.  SO MANY HAVE CHOSEN ME OVER REALITY, PEACE AND SERENITY.

More than you hate me; I hate all of you who have a 12-Step program.  Your program, your meetings your higher power, all weaken me and don’t allow me to function in the manner I am accustomed to.  Now I must lie here quietly.  You don’t see me but I am growing bigger than ever.  When you allow me to control you, I live.  When you live, I can’t.  But I am here….and until we meet again, IF we meet again… I wish you continued death and suffering…

I AM YOUR DISEASE.

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