by NCCA member, Sr. Pat Underwood
I hate meetings. I hate higher power. I hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering. Allow me to introduce myself. I am the disease of addiction…alcoholism, other drugs, eating disorders, work holism, etc.
I am cunning, baffling and powerful! That’s me! I have killed millions and I am pleased. I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending that I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, haven’t I? Wasn’t I there when you were lonely?
When you wanted to die, didn’t you call me? Wasn’t I always there?
I love when I make you so numb, you can neither hurt nor cry… You can’t feel anything at all. That is true glory. I give you instant gratification. I have always been there for you. When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn’t deserve these good things, and I was the only one who would agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all things good in your life and all I asked of you was long-term suffering.
People don’t take me seriously. They take strokes seriously, even diabetes. Fools that they are, they don’t know that without my help, these things would not be made possible. I am such a hated disease and yet I do not come uninvited. SO MANY HAVE CHOSEN ME OVER REALITY, PEACE AND SERENITY.
More than you hate me; I hate all of you who have a 12-Step program. Your program, your meetings your higher power, all weaken me and don’t allow me to function in the manner I am accustomed to. Now I must lie here quietly. You don’t see me but I am growing bigger than ever. When you allow me to control you, I live. When you live, I can’t. But I am here….and until we meet again, IF we meet again… I wish you continued death and suffering…
I AM YOUR DISEASE.